A story about... Rules © 2000 Marg Frey, Bryce Graves-Hurst, Nahoya, Christine Schwab	MARG	BRYCE	CHRISTINE & NAHOYA
			CHRISTINE	BRYCE & NAHOYA
				NAHOYA & BRYCE
			NAHOYA	BRYCE & CHRISTINE
				CHRISTINE & BRYCE

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Korean Ruth Dies

HO CHI MINH CITY—Today the Korean woman who served her country as "Ruth" for many years passed away. She leaves behind many mourners and a huge pair of cups to fill. A successor has yet to be chosen. Ruth's close friend, who asked to remain anonymous, said that Ruth was very serious about her duties as truth-keeper, and she worried often that after her death the nation would be unable to find someone as dedicated as she had been to making more room for the truth.

Candidates for Ruth's successor have been lined up outside the nation's capitol building for days, since news of Ruth's illness leaked out. Looking at them, this reporter sees Ruth's point. True, there are some women here who might grow into the role, but the group is also sprinkled with transvestites, emaciated college girls, and housewives of merely average bust size, all clearly glory-seekers not interested in patriotic sacrifice.

The hopefuls, now weary of the long line, struggle to remain optimistic, but spirits are low in this time of sorrow. "I really want to be the new rule-keeper," said one mother of three, "but I just hope they can decide soon."

The Korean government does not anticipate a swift resolution. "Cho Hing Lei served Korea and many of our neighbor nations as Ruth for many years," said Korean Press Secretary Sid Mi Jing in a press conference at noon today. "In considering her successor, we find ourselves wishing she were here to offer guidance, and to read us the rules for appointing new Ruths from the inside of her bra."